Updated: Jun 2
Welcome back to The Chronicles of The Prophet's Wife.
This platform is designed to share my journey and thoughts on how it has been thus far as a Prophet's wife. I want to be honest on this journey as I must convey my thoughts to you or that one person is thinking: "How do they keep going?" But people don't know that being a prophet's wife was something I struggled with; I did so much research and found limited information. I needed more to get me by, but you guys already know how the story goes. I made it a mission to share such information with you by God's grace.
I pray that my journey inspires you for the better and encourages you to continue on the road to marrying rightly or growing in your marriage.
Romans 12 vs 10: 'Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.'
If you are not a prophet's or pastor's wife, do not be too quick to dismiss this blog, this is also an avenue to learn about being a good wife, which is a Godly wife. Many women can't wait to be a wife, it's exciting times and a good aspiration, but it is not something you can fully be prepared for - despite being told the do's and don'ts to keep your home.
Proverbs 14:1: 'Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.'
If you're of African descent like myself, I am sure that as a woman, you can relate to the plenty of advice many people throw at you.
This is how to please your husband.
This is how to respect your husband.
This is when you should do the following.
Ensure to behave in this type of way.."
The advice comes in its multitude, and it can be overwhelming. But I learned quickly that the dynamic of anyone's marriage could never be the same. Another thing I found during the early stages of my marriage, mainly when we started the ministry, is that being myself in the midst of everything is crucial. As a young and aspiring pastor's wife with the heart to support her husband in ministry, I watched other pastors' wives who had already been in the "game." I observed their methods, how they behaved and articulated themselves, and then compared them with mine. But I found out in time that it was not the way forward.
Furthermore, today's topic focuses on the things the prophet's wives are most afraid to share. Ladies, this one is an important topic because if the people I looked up to then were more open about their journey, I might not have felt as lost and afraid as I was then. I'm having flashbacks to when we first started a ministry, and it was easy for me to carry everyone along, you know. To welcome and be open with everybody that strolled into our lives. This was my first mistake. Ministry is not about friendship but assignment after people prove themselves to be people by walking in and out of our lives, abusing our trust and positions.
I learned through pain that it would serve me better to focus on the friendship that I have with my husband and other pastors wife who can relate better, grow with me and lift me through their love and prayers; in continuation, I learned that those that are not on a similar path to me would not be able to relate or help me carry my burdens as a pastor's wife which ended the era of seeking friendship within the community of the Church but instead allowing things to flow naturally, but protecting myself, ensuring that I don't fall into the same mistakes that I made, then.
I've found that pastors' or prophets' wives have the same thing figured out, but after that realisation, it's challenging to move forward onto the next stage in the journey as they find themselves in a bubble of pain and suffering. Welcome to the ministry of a prophet's, pastor's and minister's wife. As shadow or insensitive as it might sound, I'm here to unravel the plasters and present my scars in their proper form.
How can I walk you through the stage from my shows without the gory details? Are you still interested?
A prophet's wife fears exposing her softer side, sharing her pains and secrets and even befriending a person within the community because she knows that her offload is heavier than most others. The consequence of allowing such to slip has proven to be catastrophic as gifts you can take back. Still, words and the accurate portrayal of her emotions cannot be taken back - especially what the other cannot relate to or has not got that in common with her. This is also known as a misunderstanding which can be costly.
Proverbs 31: 26: 'She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.'
Therefore, we often internalise because of fear of being judged.
"Look at the first lady; she's not acting as she is "supposed" to. But I have to ask, who defined such roles? Who wrote the description today? I can stand strong and say I sought my path and stayed in my lane. I refuse to conform to unrealistic conduct and historical behavioural patterns that lead to a decline in my mental health in the name of "sticking to the script."
I must mention that I'd love to have THAT friendship within the community. And I know some pastor's wife has been able to build that opportunity to have such - that person they can call a true friend, whom they can share their journey with and yet submit to their husband's ministry. But for myself, the way God has designed it, I don't have a sister, so this is how I've learned to manage myself.
Another thing I observed over the years is the comparison of the prophet's spiritual maturity and that of his wife. Once you are a wife to a prophet, assume that such judgement would follow to neutralise any adverse experience from early on.
Let me share more light with you, my sisters.
People judge because you're married to a prophet, talking about "you should be the same maturity as the prophet," that's impossible! Understand that the prophet is also my prophet; even as a wife, he is my priest and leader.
How can you counsel somebody without experience? In other words, how can you take somebody to where you have never been? But prophets' wives are ridiculed for having a journey or even taking their relationship with Christ at their own pace, just like every other person - even the prophet before he was known to be one! The standards and expectations are unfair, unrealistic and discouraging. Are you still with me?
There is so much that we learn over the years, and I've come to a place of understanding who I am, my place in this world, in this journey and within the ministry, as opposed to Apostle John and his growth being that his journey was different to my own.
When we started the ministry, I was afraid to be myself, show my personality, and even show off my dance moves in the house of God. Although I have more introverted tendencies, I am also a bubbly person, but I felt caged at one point because of the box that pastors' wives had been placed in. Anything outside of that gives a risk of being "cancelled." But I am beyond thankful to God because He showed me how to ultimately be myself and express all I stand for whilst still being modest.
1 Timothy 2:9: 'In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array..' It took me a while to get into the habit of dancing the way I would love to and expressing myself the way God has enabled me to express myself. I believe you can express your love for God differently; even if you're thinking of becoming a minister's wife or you're already on that journey, I believe you must learn to express yourself in a way that you appreciate and value who you are. So do not ever give up on who you are for nothing!!!
Ladies, here you have it, the absolute truth about being in ministry is that there are good times and bad times, but the best thing about it is that you're walking in your purpose. So please rejoice today, and if you genuinely desire to marry a minister, a pastor, a prophet, or a leader of some kind, consider it a blessing. If you are already on that journey, drop a comment on this blog if you understand anything I shared with you today. I want to hear about it and see your experiences too.
I cherish you all; thank you so much for reading this blog. Share it with your loved ones, and I'll see you again this time next week. God bless you.
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