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The Balance of The Pastor's Wife' - Outside of The Church!!

Updated: Jun 2, 2023

God moment, beloved and welcome back to The Chronicles of The Prophet's Wife!

I've missed you all, and I can't wait until you all tune into today's message, but firstly, how are you doing? It's an open forum, and I'd like to know.

Sometimes we press on throughout the week and forget that we are NOT robots but actual people with lives - just as others around us are living. Indeed we have our Father's business, but we have homes and school runs to cater to, haha! Who else knows what I'm talking about?

This week, I am discussing the realities that do not entirely meet the eye. 'The Balance of The Pastor's Wife' - Outside of The Church. Excited?

This links back to last week's theme of the things we struggle to share as pastors' wives. I've mentioned how people look at me as a finished product or somebody that has got it all together, but truthfully, I am only living by my means and the SPECIAL grace of God. People assume that looking put together comes easy, but actually, it's hard work.

I believe and live by Proverbs 22 vs 6:

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

There is a reputation out there for pastor's children:

  • Some experience a preacher's syndrome, which means the children grow up not wanting anything to do with the pastoral office or the ministry.

  • The other is a rebellious attitude towards things concerning ministry or life.

This reputation comes from parents forcing ministry on their children and restricting them from extracurricular activities. They believe preachers' children must lead by example and shield the children from the world that can destroy them. So many reasons behind such decisions, but there are repercussions.

Naturally, as a parent, our responsibility is to our desire is to keep our children safe and protected. The best way I can advise you is to pray that they encounter Jesus on their way and that the things of the world that will distract them from the will of God will become unattractive to them.

The essential responsibility that people don't often see me engage in is how I meet the extracurricular needs of my children. Let's use my son's extracurricular activities as today's example. Watching my son compete is not something I can describe; it brought out the competitive Spirit in me as a mother.

Just the same before we got to this stage, it was a process that we went through, and I had this fear in me, this fear of protecting my child from the evils of this world, the fear of failure and rejection or the push away of not being wanted even in the world of sports. It’s the same for any group or society that one finds themselves in.

But this fear mainly came from my journey as an individual or feeling inferior to others, the feeling of the colour of my skin limiting me from achieving, the sense of "I can't do it" because of my background or my accent, people would tease, and I think perhaps that's what brought this on because of what people have said, instinctively, the first thing I want to do as a mother is to protect my child so that they're not in the world where they are being ridiculed.

Nevertheless, in this new generation of social media, people would always want to put their children down and make them feel rejected, even for something as small as a post from Instagram, which is why I think building my children's endurance to ensure they have tough skin is essential.

Let them know that just because somebody says you're not good enough doesn't mean you're not good enough; you give it your best shot and do what you feel you can do within your capabilities. You're not good enough doesn't mean I believe that once that has been imprinted into their Spirit, through prayers and making sure that they understand who they are, they will survive this world.

I deemed it necessary to touch on this topic this week because I don't believe in faking it to make it. It's essential to look like you're making it, WHILST making it. My fellow minister's wives, people might think that you have it all together, but we know ourselves within this community - that it is only by His grace alone!

Zechariah 4:6: 'Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the Lord unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.'

If you have not seen similar discussions on my Instagram, stay encouraged and follow @thedynamicwombman for more posts like this! If you have, visit encouraged and catch up on more content like this on YouTube: Marriage, Ministry, Mentorship - until next week, Dynamites!

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